The Rube’s Review: Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! (1987)

[EDITOR’S NOTE: THE RUBE RETURNS!!]

If you ask most people in their 20s’s who Mike Tyson is they tend to respond, “Oh he’s that weird talking tattooed boxer guy from those Hangover movies… Man, I really liked the first two.” However, back in 1996 he was a God™ in the world of sports. At the time, this 20-year old kid from Brooklyn shocked the boxing world overnight with his legendary one-punch knockouts and became the youngest professional boxer to win the WBC Heavyweight Champion of the world.

In the 80’s boxing, for some reason or another, was a very big deal. I blame Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky films… especially Rocky 4 with Dolph Lundgren… USA vs. USSR… good times. Anyways, getting back on track, back then we were a boxing nation and Mike Tyson was an instant star. Whenever there was a Tyson fight, men would tell their wives some “I ‘m working late at the office” bullshit, flock to their local bar or pitch in $5 and a six-pack at a buddy’s house for this new thing called pay-per-view. Why? Just to watch Tyson DESTROY his opponent IN THE FACE, usually with one punch within seconds of the first round. When there was a Tyson fight, everyone took notice, including Nintendo’s (former) President Minoru Arakawa.

THE HISTORY OF THE GAME

Before the heavyweights’ 8-bit premiere in the states, Punch-Out! was a very popular game in the arcades and first came out in cartridge form as a gold cart prize for winning the Golf U.S. Course Famicom Tournament in Japan (Yeah, you won a boxing game for getting a high score on a golf game… WTF??). Minoru Arakawa was very happy with the finished product but thought that the game just needed a little “something” before releasing it for public sale. While in the states, Minoru attended a boxing match in Las Vegas and saw “Iron Mike” do what he does best (A.K.A. knocking his opponents the F@#K OUT!). Rumor has it that Mr. Nintendo was so impressed with the young boxer’s talents that he offered Tyson a $50,000 Rights-to-Likeness Contract on the spot. Rumor or not, all we know is that Tyson signed a deal with Nintendo and the rest is digital history.

With the popularity of “Iron” Mike Tyson and the help of one of the greatest video game commercials of all time, Nintendo sold an estimated two million copies (That’s around $80 Million Dollars Folks!), making Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!, the 2nd highest selling Nintendo game for that year (Super Mario Bros 2 came in first at ten million copies). Not only did kids want this game, but so did most adults; a first for Nintendo. Department stores couldn’t keep this game in stock but then sales started to decline with the re-release plainly called Punch-Out!, with Mike Tyson being replaced by a new fictional heavyweight boxer named Mr. Dream.

So why this change in the game? The most common belief is of Tyson’s trouble with the law, which led to his incarceration due to rape charges. This is only a rumor and is not true due to the fact of the newer non-Tyson version, was released in 1990, one year before his legal debacle and sentencing. Others reason that it was because of Tyson’s declining popularity with fans and public media after losing his title to Buster Douglas.

The most logical theory, however, is since Nintendo was making plans to discontinue the NES and focus on games for the SNES, (their newly released console), they decided to rework one of their best selling titles and re-release it as one of their discounted “Classic Series”, which would help to drive the remaining sales of Nintendo’s final inventory of NES consoles. Honestly, it just wouldn’t make any sense to pay another fifty grand in likeness rights for a game to be used as one of the last nails in the NES coffin.

THE MISSING LINK… MIKE TYSON IN SPACE!

Believe it or not, there was a plan for a second Mike Tyson boxing rumpus where our Earth’s red gloved representative would do fisticuffs in a alien arena called Mike Tyson’s Intergalactic Power Punch. For some reason Krome Studios in Australia thought this was a good idea even though the former world champ was currently wearing black and white prison stripes for the next three years. As you have probably guessed this upcoming sequel was utter dogcrap and a little too late for the soon to be phased out NES console. Also, Nintendo didn’t think it would be a good idea to promote a game starring a convicted felon.

The game was passed by Nintendo and canceled but bought by an American software company and retooled without the likeness of Iron Mike and his Promoter Don King. Released as Power Punch II, the game failed miserably to make a profit. Currently there are Custom/Homebrew websites that offer the game in its fabulous Mike Tyson Glory. Trust me if you don’t need it for your NES collection then you don’t need it for your collection… in simple words it’s one of the worst games that I’ve ever played.

FLOAT LIKE AN 8-BIT PIXEL, STING LIKE A BEE

That’s enough about that 8-bit abortion; let’s continue to talk about Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! and about it’s gameplay. You play as Little Mac, a lightweight boxer from New York that’s ready to give his 110% in the ring, doing gloved battle with ten contenders and with dreams of defeating Mike Tyson and becoming the Heavyweight Champion of the World. Seems easy enough. As Little Mac, you have your basic punches; B for left jab, A for Right. Pressing UP + BUTTON for face blows, DOWN to block and LEFT or RIGHT to dodge blows. It’s pretty simple stuff and it only takes seconds to get used to the controls… yep, seconds to get used to but hours to master.

Your first fight is with Glass Joe, which is a simple opponent but always good for beginners to get used to the controls. Like with most Nintendo games, your first opponent is the easiest and is meant for you to get used to the controls. While you’re throwing blows, you might see a star over you opponent’s head while he makes an, “Opps, I crapped my pants” face. After obtaining a star (you can get three), Little Mac can perform a super uppercut (knocking down your opponents meter considerably) by pressing the START BUTTON. If you get hit, you’ll lose your star.

Next to your star meter is a heart meter, which decreases with every punch you throw. When it reaches 0, you’ll turn girly man pink and will have to dodge punches for a couple of seconds before regaining your manly strength. There’s two life meters (yours and his) that will go down with each successful blow. Each match consists of two rounds and if you do get knocked out, you’ll have two chances to get up before your opponent wins by TKO.

Now with all that boring mumbo-jumbo out of the way, after defeating such colorful (and borderline racist) characters as Glass Joe, Von Kaiser, you’ll have your first title bout with Piston Honda. If you lose the bout, don’t worry; you’ll get one more chance to beat him. My words of advice, look for a facial twitch, followed with your opponent flashing white for a millisecond then DODGE! Each boxer will have this “giveaway” before landing a signature punch. With every match the challenges get harder and harder. Like with most NES games, it’s all about strategy and learning your opponents’ patterns. After winning, your first major bout, you’ll get a ten digit code so if you do lose twice, you’ll get to continue and not have to restart with Glass Joe.

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!, as NES games go, it’s a pretty good one. For an 8-bit beat’m up, it’s unique, the graphics are excellent, and the music does it’s job as pumps you up while you go head to head with each of your gloved contenders. The only issue that I have with Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! Is when it does get hard, it gets REALLY HARD! …like ridiculously HARD! Every time I play this game, I tend to get stuck on the second Title Bout contender, Bald Bull. Even with your trainer giving you advice between rounds, I still can’t beat that son of a b!tch.

Each boxer becomes more difficult and even with the code to go to directly to Mike Tyson (007-373-5963), all he has to do is get you with one punch and it’s all over with no second chances. Thank God™ for short passcodes because if you don’t make it to the next round, alt least you don’t have to type in a international phone number to continue. The controls are really responsive while playing the original NES version but I’ve heard of millisecond delays while playing the non-Tyson version of Punch-Out! on Wii/WiiU consoles.