If you didn’t grow up in the mid 90’s like I did, let me preface movie a little bit. In the early 90’s, ninja’s were on top of the world. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles took the world by storm. If you were a boy like me, we lived and breathed anything ninja.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get better, in 1992, 3 Ninjas was released. The movie mixed the popularity of Ninja Turtles, with another popular movie of the time, Home Alone. They even advertised the film with a quote from the Boston Globe, “Crosses Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Home Alone”. Everything you could have ever wanted in a move was summed up in that quote.
3 Ninjas follows the story of 3 young brothers, Samuel (Rocky), Jeffrey (Colt) and Michael (Tum Tum) as their grandpa trains them to be “ninja warriors” at his cabin for the summer. Back at home, the boy’s father, Sam Douglas is leading an FBI sting to catch the evil Hugo Snyder as he plans to sell nuclear warheads. We soon find out that Sam and Snyder had known each other for quite some time, and that Snyder to be a ninja trained under the boy’s grandpa.
Upon returning home from the boy’s summer at their grandfather’s, we meet a girl named Emil, who Rocky has some affection for, even though he does not like to admit it. (“Rocky loves Emily!”). Emily accompanies the boys as they ride their bike to school, and while Emily has trouble keeping up with the boys, she ends up getting her bike stolen by a couple of school bullies. During recess that day, the Rocky and Colt challenge the bullies to a game of 2 on 2 basketball to get Emily’s bike back. Even though they spot the bullies 9 out of 10 points the boys defeat the bullies with Rocky landing a final slam dunk that would put Michael Jordan to shame (you should see this movie for this scene alone).
In a desperate attempt to get the FBI and the boy’s father off of his back, Snyder hires his assistant’s bonehead nephew, Fester, and he two idiot friends to kidnap the boys. Entering the house disguised as pizza deliverymen, Fester and his friends slam the babysitter in the face with the pizza and lock her in the closet. The boys see this and decide the obvious choice to get the kidnappers out of the house is to utilize their ninja teachings; this is where the movie get’s amazing. The boys unleash an incredible amount of pranks on the kidnappers, some making more sense than others. The kidnappers end up defeated by drinking a soda spiked with laxative, and while two of the kidnappers get their butt’s kicked while on the toilet. Emily saves the day, with a little help from Tum Tum and a tennis racket, punching and kicking Fester until he passes out.
Thinking that the battle was one, the boys release the babysitter from the closet. Snyder’s assistant and a very large henchman walk in behind the boys. They take the boys to a large ship, where Snyder is training an army of ninjas. The boys manage to end up kicking a lot of ninja butt, expertly trained adult ninjas. Snyder ends up finding the boys; luckily Grandpa shows up to save the day and has a final battle, defeating Snyder with a handful of jellybeans (yes, jellybeans!!).
There is only so much I can describe in just a few paragraphs. If you have seen the movie, then you already know how amazing it is. If you haven’t, and didn’t grow up with it, it might be hard for you to appreciate all the subtitles amazing things that happen in this movie. It’s not as popular and well recognized as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Home Alone, but it provides a perfect mix of both of those movies, and creates a movie that is So Bad, It’s Good.
OFFICIAL TRAILER
On a sidenote, I also have a print up for sale showcasing my eternal love for this movie, it’s a 3-color screenrprint with fluorescent inks on yellow pop-tone paper. You can grab it here.
