With the recent announcements from Funko HQ that Big Trouble in Little China, Classic X-Men and now The X-Files will be joining their POP! vinyls line-up, one has to wonder what characters and/or franchises the Funko army will recruit next. Well, Funko, let me tell you what we’d like to see coming down the vinyl pipeline in 2015:
1. The John Carpenter Collection
(Snake Plisskin, They Live Alien, The Thing)
They’ve already released some of Carpenter’s iconic creations, so why not give his others a go? Two anti-heroes and two extraterrestrial villains: a match made in vinyl heaven! Hell, Snake & Jack could use almost the exact same sculpt (just shave a bit off Snake’s wavy locks for the patented Burton mullet), and who wouldn’t kill for a They Live alien adorning their desk as they drone on at their soul-sucking jobs? Works on so many levels!
2. Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
(Raoul Duke, Dr. Gonzo, and the Special Edition set, the Lounge Lizard w/the Great Red Shark vehicle)
Let’s look to their previous releases for justification for these bad boys: Funko’s already put their unique spin on one beloved stoner-cult classic (The Big Lebowski, respectively), and they’re starting to throw in some iconic vehicles with their sets (the Ecto-1, the time-traveling DeLorean, the Turtle Van). So what completely surreal cult classic has a visual style that begs to be adapted in this type of media, AND has an iconic vehicle so integral to the story that it may as well be its own character? Look no further than Terry Gilliam’s depraved, drug-addled journey to the heart of the American dream, Fear and Loathing. Give us the counterculture ‘heroes,’ throw in a Lounge Lizard (I know how much you love your creatures, Funko) and that classic red convertible… BOOM! You’re in every mancave & dorm room in America.
3. The Lost Boys
(Vamped-out David & Michael, and the Frog Brothers)
If True Blood’s interchangeable characters can warrant a 5+ figure series, then certainly the original teen heartthrob vamps, The Lost Boys, are due some recognition. With a signature vamped-out look that hasn’t been done before (and Funko can have some fun with) and childhood icons like the Frog Brothers, I’m thinking Funko would have a hit on their hands. Might even warrant expanding the line to include all of Max’s boys…
4. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
(Bill S. Preston Esq., Ted “Theodore” Logan, and the Special Edition set, Rufus, Death)
If you’re reading this site, this one should be completely self-explanatory. As someone who grew up taking the Wyld Stallions creedo of ‘Be excellent to each other‘ to heart (and am now just waiting for the rest of the world to catch up), I can’t think of any other iconic vehicle I’d want sitting next to my Ecto-1 & DeLorean on the shelf more than Bill & Ted’s most righteous phone booth (featuring Rufus). They could even throw in an SDCC exclusive glow-in-the-dark Death! ‘Nuff said.
5. Killer Klowns From Outer Space
(Slim, Shorty, Jumbo, and 9″ Klownzilla)
How adorable would these be? I mean, ya never thought It‘s Pennywise the clown could be cute, did ya? (Sidenote: If you said ‘yes’ to that, all those years of stained sheets & therapy bills beg to differ.) Well, look what they did with him! Give the lil’ guys the regular POP treatment, and give the massive Klownzilla the scaled-up Stay Puft Marshmallow Man treatment and you’ve got a creeptastic line that the strange kiddies’ll love!
6. Little Shop of Horrors
(Seymour, Audrey, Orin the Dentist, and 9″ Audrey II)
Finally! A toy line that the film nerds AND the theatre geeks can get behind!!! Though there have been many knock-offs & imitators over the years, I don’t think we’ve ever gotten an officially licensed Audrey II before. Well, I’d damn well say that Funko’s poised to be the one to change all that. Just like Klownzilla, scale it up to Stay Puft heights so it can gobble up all your other unsuspecting POP figures and you’ve added a whole new level of playability to your ever-growing collection. FEED ME, FUNKO!
7. MORE Beetlejuice
(Tuxedo Beetlejuice, Cab Driver Beetlejuice, Snake Beetlejuice, Lydia, Transformed Adam & Barbara, and 9″ Sandworm)
Bless you, o Lords of Funko, for throwing us that Beetlejuice bone when the POP vinyls were still in their infancy. But you’ve moved on and expanded farther than any of us could’ve expected, and with all that sequel gossip building up quite a bit of buzz, Beetlejuice’s looking to become quite the hot merchandising commodity once again. So why not revisit a character you’ve already licensed? You do so love your variants, so why not give us all of the B-man’s many different looks? Throw in a few of the other characters & a giant Sandworm and we’ll respond in kind by giving you ALL OF OUR MONEY.
8. Rick & Morty
(Rick, Morty, Scary Terry, a “Cronenburg,” Mr. Meeseeks, and the Devil)
Now what would look better next to your POP Doc Brown & Marty McFly than their demented doppelgängers, Rick and Morty Sanchez? If EVER there was a show that toed the line between adorable and awful it’s that one. Which is why it lends itself perfectly to this particular stylization! Not to mention the fact that there’s so little merch out there for this show that it should be considered criminal, throw in a few of their many deranged creatures to round out the line, and strike while the iron’s hot, Funko!
9. Gravity Falls
(Dipper, Mabel, Grunkle Stan, Soos, Lil’ Gideon, and the Rainbow-Puking Gnome)
Now, I can’t walk more than 20 feet in a Toys ‘R Us without bumping into something, ANYTHING, with a Disney logo on it. If they own it, they’ll package it and sell it until you can hear its death rattle and watch as its soul literally drips out onto the floor. So… why, when they’ve created one of the most amazing cartoons for the whole family to enjoy, is there not a lick of Gravity Falls swag to be found? No toys, no t-shirts, no nothin’. Well, once again Funko, I’m thinking you could come to the rescue here and seriously clean up here. We’ve got the demand, but there’s literally no supply. And those little big eyed characters would fit in with the POP vinyls SO WELL… just sayin’.
(Carl Spackler, Ty Webb, Al Czervik, and (of course) the Gopher)
They’ve already obtained Bill Murray’s likeness rights, so who wouldn’t want to add a vinyl Chevy Chase & Rodney Dangerfield to the collection as well! They haven’t seemed to shy away from ‘dumb’ comedy in the past (I’m surprised that Harry & Lloyd POP figs didn’t accompany Dumb & Dumber To… or maybe I’m not) so why not immortalize a beloved classic, FUNKO STYLE. Plus… dancing Gopher bobblehead? Million dollar idea, right there.
Honorable Mention – Howard the Duck (1987 variant)
C’mon, Funko! A slight alteration in the paint scheme, lose the hat & replace it with an ’80s coif, and you give a hint of validation to one of the ‘worst’ films of all time… that just so happens to be beloved by an entire generation that’s been waiting to blow their hard-earned dough on a Howard toy since 1987.