Infinite Santa 8000: The Movie [Review]
From the ashes of a subatomic winter wasteland, one hero remains. His name? Santa. His mission? Survive. The concept is pretty straightforward: it’s the year 8000 and Santa is a half-cyborg killing machine just trying to stay alive in a world full of hideous mutant freaks, giant robots and… the Easter Bunny. Alongside his robot companion, Martha, Santa struggles to live nothing more than a quiet life on his robo-reindeer dude ranch. That is, when he’s not busy fighting in death matches with murder-happy robots.
A continuation of the 2010 web series, Infinite Santa 8000: The Movie doesn’t so much pick up where the series left off as it polishes up all the main characters and storyline. Where the series left off with the evil Dr. Shackleton programming Martha to betray Santa and restore his lost memory, the movie finds Santa and Martha living relatively normal lives on Santa’s ranch when Shackleton strikes. Things go from bad to worse as Martha is kidnapped and Santa must fight his way through armies of Shackleton’s scientific abominations (including CRABMONKEYS!).
Infinite Santa is far from some pudgy pushover – he’s a veritable badass who lets his bullets decide who’s naughty and who’s nice. Packing every conceivable handheld weapon on destruction – dual pistols, meat cleaver, reindeer horn, rocket launcher – Santa carves a bloody swath in his attempt to rescue Martha. Robots are rendered limbless, crabmonkeys are carved meat pies and bunnies are beaten senseless – all in the name of senseless violence… and the Christmas spirit, of course.
If you’re looking for something different to watch this December, and don’t mind some heavy metal tunes, then Infinite Santa 8000: The Movie offers an infinite blast of winterized carnage that should satiate your naughty side. If you’re still not sure, I’d recommend checking out the Infinite Santa web series on YouTube first, then decide. The movie is available now on VOD and iTunes as of today.