Tuesday, Jul. 22, 2014

The Top 5: Movie Remakes We Actually Want to See in Theaters

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May 29, 2013

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The Top 5: Movie Remakes We Actually Want to See in Theaters

Let’s face it… remakes have become the de facto money maker for Hollywood these past few years and, frankly, they don’t seem to be going away anytime soon. But instead of remaking films that are classic to begin with (Gremlins, Carrie, The NeverEnding Story) it’d be great to see remakes that take long forgotten films and rekindle what made them special, much like David Cronenberg’s The Fly or John Carpenter’s The Thing. With that in mind, here are five picks for long-unproduced remakes we’d much rather see!

The Creature From the Black Lagoon

Kerry Gamill's Creature concept art

The Original: A classic 50s Universal monster film, the original Creature from the Black Lagoon took advantage of our collective fear of the unknown (both of in a strange, exotic locale and underwater) and gave us the iconic half man, half fish “Gill Man.”

The Remake: Having been attached to a literal Who’s Who of Hollywood, from Stan Winston to John Carpenter and even Guillermo del Toro, the remake has truly been in development hell. Regardless of where the project finally lands, the formula should be simple: Predator meets Jaws set in the Amazon. Boom.

Highlander

Highlander - Ryan Reynolds

The Original: A modern-day fantasy story, Highlander merged swords & sorcery with samurais (and just a touch of sci-fi) as Connor MacLeod fought against man and time on a quest to avenge the death of his beloved and ultimately claim “The Prize.”

The Remake: Ryan Reynolds has been rumored to take on the role of Conner is the remake and, personally, I’d be down for that. If Reynolds could bring the cocky charisma he had in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, temper it with a bit of Rurouni Kenshin‘s remorsefulness and bring the bloodshed of a Takeshi Miike film – it’d be a guaranteed hit.

The Keep

The Keep - horror film

The Original: A (mostly) forgotten horror film based on a novel by F. Paul Wilson, The Keep follows a group of Nazi soldiers who inadvertently unleash an ancient demonic force dwelling inside an abandoned Romanian castle.

The Remake: While the original suffers from its share of problems, the main plot is perfect: an old-fashioned monster movie featuring a creepy castle, Jewish mysticism, Nazis and an unholy demon hellbent on delivering a gruesome demise to anyone trapped inside… think Castle Freak meets Terminator. Considering his experience with merging war + supernatural horror in Pan’s Labyrinth, Guillermo del Toro would be perfect as director.

Flash Gordon

Chris Hemsworth as Flash Gordon

The Original: Based on a comic strip by Alex Raymond, Flash Gordon featured an ordinary man, football star “Flash” Gordon, whisked off to another world (Mongo) where the ruthless Ming the Merciless rules over all with an iron fist.

The Remake: It’s hard to remake such a classic film, but let’s face it… the original is a bit cheesy (albeit fun). A remake could still play with all of the exotic costumes and strange characters, while downplaying the campiness and upping the action. Nicolas Cage would actually make a badass Ming while Chris Hemsoworth would be my choice as the buff, yet charming Flash Gordon.

Hellraiser

Hugo Weaving as Pinhead

The Original: Curiosity and the human condition lead a selfish hedonist, Frank, to unleash a cabal of demons (Cenobites) from a mystical puzzle box. Extreme violence and cruel terror unfold as Frank’s family is caught up in the madness and only one “pure” soul stands between the forces of hell and eternal damnation.

The Remake: After Hellraiser II, the original material has been botched so many times now it’d be almost mandatory to revisit the source material (The Hellbound Heart) while keeping in mind what made the film popular with fans (Pinhead). The Evil Dead remake may have been wasted on Fede Alvarez, but he could have a field day with this one. Toss in Hugo Weaving as Pinhead and it’s a done deal.

What do you think? Which remakes are you dying to see happen… or not happen?

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About Author

Rondal

Rondal is the Editor-in-Chief of Strange Kids Club and a creative instigator who tackles each day with Red Bull-induced enthusiasm and a mind for adventure. Rondal has written for other sites including Rue Morgue, Fuel Your Illustration and Bloodsprayer. His obsession with horror movies, 80s animation and action figures is considered unhealthy by medical professionals.

  • Jason

    Dead Alive. Now that Peter Jackson has some money. He could make this classic a hit with modern day fans.

    • http://www.strangekidsclub.com Rondal

      That could be an interesting one. He’d have to keep the practical effects, though, no CGI for me! :D

      • Jason

        I agree. I’m not a big CGI fan for horror films.

  • LaDracul

    I would have to disagree with “Flash Gordon”…especially as Hemsworth is being difficult with his asking price as of how. I’ve always pictured Seann William Scott, but given some personal issues he’s has in the recent past, it’s pretty iffy.

    As for my own choices, both horror musicals.

    “Phantom of the Paradise”-Fox has had this in development for a while, but given how much of their executives are incompetent idiots, these things either don’t happen or get screwed up. However, it’s a film that cries out for a lot of major changes in some cases. I’d find a Visual Kei type Phantom who finds out his enemy’s secret earlier on and uses that to lord it over him until the climax instead of someone that dresses like the lost member of “Gatchaman” that still acts like a cowering little bitch around his enemy. Oh, and he’d have to be played by Noel Fielding from “The Mighty Boosh” and “The IT Crowd”. :D So while we’re at it, we’d have Swan based on Simon Cowell (The original was based on Phil Spector) and played by Jermaine Clement, Phoenix having a proper Raoul character to fall in love with(THREE men competing for her affection happened in the 1943 version, so that’s not unusual), and the diva as a caricature of Lady Gaga. Let’s just say one of her stage costumes contributes to her demise onstage.

    The second one is “Dance of the Vampires” as Roman Polanski said he was planning on doing, but due to a few things, I think whoever has the rights should replace him as director so this thing can get DONE. I’m nominating Bill Condon, who’s done vampire movies AND musicals. And get Adam Lambert as Herbert. XD

    • http://www.strangekidsclub.com Rondal

      “Phantom of the Paradise” would be pretty interesting as a remake. I’ve never been much of a fan of the original, but with the right director and lead actor it could be pretty freaking awesome!

  • http://www.strangekidsclub.com Rondal

    Thanks for catching that mistake, Dan. The credit for that one would should go to Cronenberg.