Toychest Time Machine: Stone Protectors (1993)
Whether you want to admit it or not, I think we all remember those god-damned Troll dolls from the 90s. How could we not?! Their popularity ran so rampant that they spawned into virtually every medium including animation, video games and – yes – action figures. Now, maybe it’s just the easily impressionable 7-year old in me, but the action figures were actually pretty awesome… sorta.
I did a small piece on the first toy line, Battle Trolls, a few years back (definitely need to revisit that one) which was incredible. So today I figured we’d check out the second series of action figures: Stone Protectors. Not quite as cool as Battle Trolls (how can you beat Mecha Troll?!), the Stone Protectors were a superhero team of trolls that imitated other Saturday morning series like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Toxic Crusaders and Captain Planet. Their individual “powers,” if you call rock climbing or wrestling a superpower, were granted to them thanks to their power stones (aka gems) AND – wait for it – they were also a band.
…okay, so this line is not quite as rad as I remember. Lame or not these dudes were EVERYwhere; board games, video games, TV, toy shelves and even comic books were slapped with the Stone Protectors logo (not to mention plenty of ads) by Hasbro. It was as if they took every pre-teen pop culture fad they test-marketed, tossed them into a giant meat grinder, slapped some neon-colored hair on them and whored them around Hollywood. I’m honestly surprised that these guys never got a live action movie deal. Seriously. Could it have been worse than Double Dragon or Mario Bros?
Images above from ComicAttack.net