Revenge of Development Hell: 3 More Incredibly Awesome Cartoons That Never Happened
Okay, okay people. I heard your cries for cartoons left out of my previous Cartoons in Development Hell post so to patch things up I’ve decided to do another countdown of cartoon pilots that should have become series. They make me think that the modern animation industry needs a frontal lobotomy right away. Let’s begin with the most sought after series of them all…
KORGOTH OF BARBARIA
We all love our sweet ultra-violenece – full of gross things, gruesome deaths, flesh eating zombies, giant monsters and sexy boobs everywhere. Taking a page from the cult classic Thundar the Barbarian and Conan the Adventurer this cartoon puts us in a post-apocalyptic future where cites have fallen and magic gives its wielder great power. Only Korgoth, the manliest and most powerful warrior out there, can survive all the dangers AND conquer all the women. It’s like Adventure Time… only with more blood and sex (and less candy).
WACKY RACERS FOREVER
If Thundercats and My Little Pony have taught us anything it’s that cartoon classics can have really great reboots that can equal (if not surpass) the source material. One cartoon that could have done this is Wacky Racers Forever. Set as a continuation of the original franchise, we find the children of the married Penelope Pitstop and Perfect Pete joining the craziest race of all time: Wacky Races! This pilot has all the dynamics and visuals that the craziest race of all time needed to evolve, plus Dick Dastardly now works for a sinister, major villain. Unfortunately, Cartoon Network said “no” to the idea.
Who says that musical-themed cartoon can’t be sold any more? Leave it to Beatrice, Molly and Mallory; a trio of sexually active girls, to go into the most dangerous sci-fi and horror based situations chock full of sex-based puns. With only two 12 minute segments ever aired, they defined their style with stupidity, horny monsters, crazy songs, sexiness, lustful zombies and a silent partner who must face grim reality alone while everyone else is too far away in the Candy Kingdom. Rock on, ladies… rock on.