The Top 5: Celebrity Cartoon Crapfests Ever Created for Television
A thought occurred to me the other day. There seems to be a certain point in every pop culture icon’s career when their interest to stay relevant to fans intersects with a desperate TV exec looking for “next big thing.” Whether this means retooling a tired concept or tossing a bunch of random, “hip” ideas together, this situation never ends well for either the celebrity or the television audience. Trust me, there’s a ton a stinky turd muffins out there… here’s our Top 5 picks for Crapiest Cartoon Series Ever Created for Television.
5) Mister T
God bless Mister T. You gotta love the man… I mean just look at him in his prime! He was the pimp daddy of pop culture icons, quick to pity the fool who didn’t jive with the wholesome family values of early 80s America. His cartoon though – teaming up with gymnast kids to solve mysteries – was a little too far out even for me. I would’ve preferred Mr. T in a tank, saving the world one “sucka” at a time. Now there’s a series with potential!
4) Super Globe Trotters
The world famous Globetrotters had several cartoon cameos, but Super Globetrotters takes the cake as the most bizarre of them all. Essentially the Fantastic Four meets the Globetrotters, the show was conceived as a spin-off to the original Harlem Globetrotters series and featured the core team with superpowers foiling the schemes of THE lamest villains ever created. It’s funny… until you realize kids actually grew up watching it.
3) The Robonic Stooges
Continuing the superhero theme, The Robonic Stooges recast the comedic trio as bionic heroes, sorta like multiple, bumbling versions of Inspector Gadget with capes. At least the Stooges had villains who were sort of interesting; like the evil a giant octopus, a two-faced Dr. Jeckyll (literally two-faced) and Dr. Crackula (seriously!).
Oh, MC Hammer… you were just “too legit” for your own good. When it takes over a full minute to explain the premise of your show (which is really just about “magical shoes”) it’s time to throw in the towel. Of all the series on our list this one makes the least amount of sense no matter how you slice it (and it’s not even #1!). Hammer tried to change things up a bit with a live action intro, along with the obligatory moral lesson, but it just turns creepy (fast).
1) New Kids on the Block
Like I said, there are plenty of terrible toons to fill this list. So what did we crown as king(s) of this crapfest? Years before bands like N’Sync and Big Time Rush were churned out with amazingly mathematical precision, New Kids on the Block were the golden boys of the “pop” universe. They had their own line of dolls, posters, magazines… oh yeah, and they made music. Interspersed with live concert footage and video messages from the kids themselves, the entire series revolved around the groups attempt to be “normal.” It lasted one entire season (of skull-smashing boredom).