The Rube’s Review: Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
The second installment starts with Alice flashback/nightmare of the last 10 minutes of the first movie. Remember, some people either didn’t see the first one or had to wait a year for a sequel. Hey, it wasn’t like today when you can just pop in a dvd or look it up on YouTube! Anyways, some more mundane shit happens, Alice takes a two-second shower (no nudity) and gets spooked by a phone call and by a jumping (ie. thrown) cat through an open window. Finally, after 12 minutes of nothing, Alice opens the fridge door to find the severed head of Mrs. Voorhees and gets stabbed in the temple with an icepick. The screen fades to black and you see the same F13 logo as the original, but no shattering glass. You think to yourself, “What a crock of shi…” when the screen EXPLODES with the words, PART 2. Now that’s how you start a movie!
Friday the 13th Part 2 starts out a lot like the first one; same town, same Crazy Ralph scaring the shit out of kids looking for directions to the camp. This time around, though, Camp Crystal Lake is a 2 week Camp Counselor Training Center (whatever the fuck that is) where we meet Paul Holt, (head counselor), Ginny (Assistant with her “reliable” VW Beetle), Ted (The Prankster), Vicki, Terri, Scott, Sandra, Jeff and wheelchair bound Mark… oh Mark, you never had a chance. After the mandatory getting to know you shit, Paul wastes no time in telling the legend of Jason Voorhees over smores. Adding to the myth he mentions that Jason is in fact alive as a feral hillbilly somewhere in the woods, ready to take revenge for his mother’s death every 5 years.
What?! Hold the fuck up! If Part 1 was filmed in 1980 and the Part 2 was filmed in 1981, but then that would mean, at the time, Part 2 is set in 1985… the future?! That’s some crazy Doc Brown time travel shit that’s just making the Rube’s head hurt… ok, deep breaths. Ok, I’m fine, just confused a bit. Anyways, after being scared by Ted in a loin cloth, Paul says to the group, “That’s all I want to hear about Jason” and that Crystal Lake (the lake right over there… yeah, that lake!) is off limits. After that the the group starts to pair up and get ready to check it out. Also, Crazy Ralph peeps a look at Paul and Ginny making out just for him to get garroted by Jason with barbed wire.
The next day the group goes for a run and does lunch, but instead of taking a swim Jeff gets forced to take a lovers stroll to “Camp Blood” because of the supernatural powers of Sandra’s vuh-jay-jay where they get caught by the cops (oopsies!). On the way back into town, the sheriff sees someone run into the forest and after watching his personal 1981 Fatman’s decathlon, he finds a junkyard shack. Within 2 minutes of entering, the sheriff gets disposed of with the unloving end of a hammer to the skull.
Later in the night Sandra, Jeff, Vicki, Terri, Scott and poor Mark stay at their cabins while everyone else goes out to town to get tore up. Terri looks for her dog, decides (out of the blue) to go skinny dipping while the others stay in the cabins to arm wrestle, play video games, and finally have sex. While peeping at Terri, Scott gets snagged in a Wild. E. Coyote trap upside down and gets his throat slit via a machete as Terri looks for something to cut him down. Terri screams but the shot changes so fast that we don’t really know if Jason bumped her off… WTF?
Meanwhile, at the bar, Ginny gets mocked by Ted and Paul while she drunkenly philosophizes about Jason being a boy trapped in a mans body and not understanding death… blah, blah, blah. Ted thinks that Ginny has had enough to drink and heads back to the cabin. Scott stays at the bar hoping to get some from the bitchy bartender… hey, it could happen?
Back to the cabin where Sandra and Jeff and Mark and Vicki pair off. After a speedy “mary jane” break, Vicki leaves Mark to freshen up. While Mark wheels outside to see where she is… WHACK! He gets a machete imbedded in this face. The slaughter continues as Sandra and Jeff get harpooned in bed. Vicki comes back to investigate the lovebird’s room and FINALLY we get to see our killer, Jason in his OshKosh B’gosh overalls and a one eyed flour sack on his head (not scary, just plain sad).
Even with his kiddie apparel, Jason continues his work and stabs Vicki. Paul and Ginny make it back just in time to find blood everywhere and get attacked by Mr. Biscuit Baghead! They get separated, running ensues, and Ginny is now fighting for her life. She tries her trusty VW Beetle; nothing! Then she ends up running in the woods, in the dark, only to be the second (un)luckiest person to find Jason’s Little Shack o’ Love. While there, Ginny stumbles on a fuck’d up shrine of Jason’s dead mother, which includes an old sweater and her SEVERED HEAD!
Jason busts in to find Ginny in mommy’s sweater and while Ginny does a great song and dance to pretend to be his mother and calm him down, her cover is blown when the big lug sees he’s mother head behind her. Then, when Jason starts to freak out, Paul shows up to save the day with a quarterback tackle. Ginny hits Jason with an ending blow to the back with a machete (I guess the forest is just littered with them) and they stagger back to an unbloodied cabin. Everything seems fine until the battered couple hear a noise from outside. Armed with a pitchfork, they open the door to find Terri’s dog. A sigh of relieve washes over the two when CRASH, an unmasked Jason smashes through the window. The film fades to white and shows Ginny being pulled away in a ambulance while yelling for Paul.
What the fuck is that about? What happened to Paul? What the Fuck happened to Jason? And what the fuck happened to Ted, did he end up sealing the deal with that surly bartender or what? While not the best entry in the F13 series, Part 2 is still a lot better than the first one. It’s pretty decent and for a 85-minute slasher movie, the story moves along well enough without an overabundance of death scenes. Trust me, the next one will be better and in EYE POPING 3D!
Dogs can spend a week by themselves safe in bear-infested woods.
Why would anyone pay to spend a summer training to be a camp counselor? Seems redundant and too much work. Just stay home or work for your uncle at the auto shop or something.
About 19 1/2 minutes and then 46 minutes in the movie (guys, just trust me), Dead Mark falling backwards down three flights of stairs in a wheelchair and not falling over… man, that must be some sort of world’s record!
Oh come on you chicken shit!
Body Count: 8… 10 if they find the bodies of Terri and Paul