Christmas may be over, but Santa’s “slay” ride isn’t done yet.
HORRORWOOD, CA. (December 25, 2011) From Franken-Bass, the production company famous for family-favorite holiday specials such as Cthulhu is Coming to Town and The Year Without a Sanity Clause comes this hot’n’heavy-heart warming tale of Christmas triumph, teamwork, and the Dark Lord of Hell itself!
Warm up a cup of spiked cocoa, take in a pipe of “mistletoe,” and sit down with the family members during their probation to watch SANTA AND THE SHE-DEVILS during its first televised premiere on the XYZ Channel after A Charlie Bronson Christmas.
Lenny “Don’t Call Me Sugar” Lowenstein is a man of broken faith who finds himself questioning the existence of Santa Claus as he tries to make it as a jazz musician in the big city while his parents push him to adopt the familial honor of becoming a rabbi.
Writing to the North Pole, Lenny is amazed to find it answered not by the jolly old elf, but by a Swedish angel named Lars who protects the Earth while surfing on the heavenly coast. Lenny is warned by Lars that the real Santa has been possessed by a demon from Hell and that the North Pole has been overrun by monsters from the pit to make way for the coming of the Antichrist on Christmas Day.
Lars informs Lenny that he has been chosen as the planet’s savior and must stop the demonized Kris Kringle before he can resurrect the Antichrist and bring about the End of Days. Taxed with this cosmic task, Lenny walks the streets at night looking for knights to take into his aid, only to come across a disillusioned talking reindeer with a severe addiction to alcohol named Rudy. Using the deer’s boozy red nose to guide the way, Lenny makes his way to the snowy regions of the Arctic.
But it will not be an easy trip for the jazz player and his faithful antlered friend. The Evil Santa has turned the region into a veritable Valley of the Shadow, filled to the glaciers with baby-gobbling abominable snowmen, sadomasochistic heat misers, and blood-drinking, long-eared donkeys galore.
Armed only with street smarts, a saxophone, and the AK-47 that Rudy keeps with him at all times, the duo face down each holiday horror as they make their way to Santa’s Workshop, a brothel of red-hot succubae who are eager eat our heroes alive.
Can Earth be saved from the hell-spawned manger baby? Will Lenny ever be able to become a hot nightclub acting playing for latkes? How will Santa be exorcised in time for Christmas? All these questions and many more unnecessary ones will be answered in this sugarplum-sweet, three-hour epic of Yuletide insanity!
Critics are resounding with holiday joy at the arrival of Santa and the She-Devils:
“It takes everything sacred about Christmas and utterly destroys it,” states Nestor Crowley, field reporter for THE ROLLING SNOWBALL. “I think everytime someone watches this movie a penguin dies of a stroke.”