Friday, Oct. 24, 2014

The Top 5: Questionably Patriotic “All American” Superheroes

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July 4, 2011

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Today is July 4th and that means it’s a time to celebrate everything red, white, and blue. This year it also signals the countdown to the upcoming Captain America reboot, bringing fans one step closer to the highly anticipated Marvel team-up movie (hint: it’s The Avengers).

However, not everyone chooses to celebrate their patriotism in the same way. Take for example the following characters who have either found themselves at odd with their county or just created their own version of the American Dream. So light up those firecrackers and break out the apple pie; it’s the good, the bad, and the WTF?! in Strange Kid’s Top 5 Questionably Patriotic “All American” Superheroes!


#5 Super-Patriot

First Appearance: Captain America (vol. 1) #323

While there’s been several heroes to take on the mantle of Super-Patriot, including a cyborg and terrorist, Johnny Walker is perhaps the one with the most history. Honorably discharged from the Army, Walker went on to become a tool by not one but two villains in an effort overthrow Captain America by killing the hero. Although he didn’t succeed, Walker would ironically be offered the title anyway shortly afterwards when Steve Rogers resigned before going on to become the U.S. Agent. Walker currently resides as the grim-faced warden of The Raft– one of Marvel’s many super-security prisons after being crippled by the supervillain called Nuke. Politics… go figure.

#4 Patriot

First Appearance: Rising Stars (vol. 1) #1

The vigilante Patriot began life as Jason Miller, a lifelong comic book fan who turned out to possess an array of powers such as super-strength, speed, near-invulnerability, and flight. Although he’s technically a hero, the majority of his career consisted of being manipulated by the villain known as Critical Maas and killing his own kind. To his credit, though, Patriot did find some redemption when he broke free of Maas’ control and sacrificed himself for another hero, but still… genocide isn’t the Captain’s bag, baby.

#3 Superman

First Appearance: Action Comics (vol. 1) #1

This one may touch more than a few nerves, but for a hero who for has stood as the living epitome of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” more than 70 years Superman has seemingly found himself at odds with the “American Way” recently, or at the very least is questioning it. Seems the Man of Steel recently renounced his U.S. citizenship in Action Comics #900 in favor of going global and that’s made more than a few people do a double take. Does this mean that he’s a bad guy? Heck no, man, but it sure makes him a less likely poster boy for Uncle Sam.

#2 Nuke

First Appearance: Daredevil (vol. 1) #232

The origins of Nuke, also known as Frank Simpson, could really be summed up in the actions of one individual: Wolverine. Having encountered the ole “Canucklehead” on multiple occasions, it was Wolverine who abducted Simpson to become an initiate of the Weapon Plus program AND (years later) who “gave him the idea” of tattooing an American flag on his face by carving it on there for him during the Vietnam War. Add to the mix his some mind-altering drugs, plastic skin, cybernetic bones, and you have yourself one homegrown Terminator.

#1 The Constitution of the United States

First Appearance: Automatic Kafka (vol. 1) #1

As one of the more “free thinkers” on this list, The Constitution of the United States has one of the most loose (and kickass) interpretations of American pride EVER. After serving as a member of the superhero team, The $trangers, alongside a band of equally morally challenged individuals and then as a black ops mercenary for the U.S. government, The Constitution somehow became convinced that the true ideals of American lay in the pink bits of the porn industry and set out to turn it into a form of high art. Just like a rock star, The Constitution proves that sex, drugs, and rock & roll are the true American Way.

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About Author

Rondal

Rondal is the Editor-in-Chief of Strange Kids Club and a creative instigator who tackles each day with Red Bull-induced enthusiasm and a mind for adventure. Rondal has written for other sites including Rue Morgue, Fuel Your Illustration and Bloodsprayer. His obsession with horror movies, 80s animation and action figures is considered unhealthy by medical professionals.

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