Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

Toychest Time Machine: Battle Trolls

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April 27, 2010

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Big-haired dudes with bad attitudes.

Now these troublesome Trolls really take me back to a special time in my childhood. It was the very first sleepover I was ever invited to (yes, boys have sleepovers too). I was about 7 or 8 and, though the finer details of the event are lost in my mind, I will always remember three things: 1) pizza plus birthday cake is a bad idea, 2) the opening credits to Ernest Scared Stupid are second perhaps only to Night of the Demons and finally… Battle Trolls freaking rock.

Having just been released (1992), Battle Trolls were Hasbro’s answer to their own line of more feminine, jeweled Troll dolls. Marketed directly at young males, the series consisted of various pop culture parodies (Superman, Count Dracula, Frankenstien, GI Joe) that came complete with weapons, scars and backstory cardbacks detailing their cranky origins (basically Fight Club for trolls).

All of my friends had one and so did I, mine being (of course) the horror-themed Count Troll-U-La (see insert) who looks like a cross between a vampiric Zorro and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. It’s funny to think back on it now, but I can actually recall having play fights against the other kids at school during lunch and, on the night of the sleepover in particular, a huge battle royale amidst pizza boxes and bottles of Mountain Dew with none other than Jim Varney as our color commentator. Pure childhood nirvana.

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About Author

Rondal

Rondal is the Editor-in-Chief of Strange Kids Club and a creative instigator who tackles each day with Red Bull-induced enthusiasm and a mind for adventure. Rondal has written for other sites including Rue Morgue, Fuel Your Illustration and Bloodsprayer. His obsession with horror movies, 80s animation and action figures is considered unhealthy by medical professionals.

  • awkward posture

    OH MY GOD!!! I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THESE LITTLE GUYS!!! Thanks for posting this! I can't help but agree about the cake and pizza, bleh! Speaking of pizza, do you remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pizza Thrower toy? If your memory fails you (which I'm sure it won't) just visit this link http://www.ninjaturtles.com/toys/1989/thrower.htm
    to see it in all its glory!

    This one time I was playing with the Pizza Thrower and accidentally fired one of the pizza's into my friends eye. Oddly enough, Ernest Goes to Jail was playing that night as opposed to Ernest Scared Stupid. Life is very strange sometimes. Very strange indeed!

  • awkward posture

    You might want to browse this site in general by the way: http://www.ninjaturtles.com/
    Check out all the old school toys that were released in 88!

  • awkward posture

    Strange Kid, you've GOT to check this out! I used to play with this EXACT toy and make home movies with this little guy that I might be able to drum up somewhere for you to see. You're going to love this:
    http://www.amazon.com/Attack-Killer-Tomatoes-Chad-Tomacho/dp/B0033CGK1K

  • Strange Kid

    Haha, those sure were some great toys! I remember having a good 45% of the toys listed on that site, some of the best figures I ever played with as a kid.

    I've never seen that Killer Tomatoes toy before, but it looks awesome! If you still have it, you should totally dig that up and make a mini-movie like you used to!! I'll even share it at the clubhouse here. :)

  • ladracul

    I remember there was another troll-themed action figure line around the same time-
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_Protectors

  • Ruben X

    I miss my General troll ToT